the con man

Thursday, November 20th, 2008 | life

Do you ever feel you have conned your way through life without being worth all the things you’ve achieved? Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a post by our anonymous guest blogger who goes by the name Mr. Washington Carter (so much for anonymousness). His first, but surely not his last. Have a good read!

Dearest Jurors, please bear with me and let me plead my case. You accuse me of being an impostor and you might be right. But despite your spiteful accusations, i will reveal myself for what i really am. I am solely lucky and an able con man. The fact that i am where i am, with a wonderful girlfriend who loves me despite all, a great work, university diploma coming up and a quite bright future with a lot of opportunities, i feel i failed. I did never rise up to my full potential, instead i’ve been ambling along the way and getting by with able tricks to avoid complete failure. Always on the brink of being discovered for what i am: a con man. A lazy, procrastinating, fearful con man.

conman

Only known image of Mr. Washington Carter

Surely, also pulling it off for so long and with some success requires some skills. But lies have short legs, as they say. For now they did not catch me, but for how long encore? For all of my school days, mediocre despite doing less than everyone else, i was on the brink of repeating a year but always able to manage barely to stay afloat. Conning. University was the same, a frustrating mediocreness on my part. But now i am ahead of the race, finishing sooner than anyone else, with my good share of internships (things i got conning) and a semester abroad. Not the US, as i wished, but hey… Is this conning? Surely i did not work as hard as other people to obtain these things. I barely worked at all. I don’t know, i sometimes implore the failure so that i can stop being a con man. But i cannot fail. I am a gifted man who, in order to grab a quantum of the satisfactions he would surely get without his condition, cons his way through life.

Is this a compelling reason to con? Most certainly not. But i will always feel i’m living on 20% of my possibilities. Not doing what i want to do, but doing what i think i must do. Too fearful to explore the endless alternatives, too fearful even to imagine them. Why? I have an idea why.

This society, this world is not one with compassion for people like us. But we need to survive, we need to adapt. That’s why we con. Futhermore, despite a fair chance of achieving everything i want in life, i probably won’t be able to savour it. This, dear jurors, is already the greatest of punishments.

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potrit

my last.fm